I want to say Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights), but as batshiznit crazy as he was, I think I felt sorry for him more than I hated him despite some of the wicked awful things he did.

Then there’s Edward Cullen (Twilight). Where to start with that one? Um…watching a girl sleep. Without her knowledge or consent. That’s just creepy, but not sure if that qualifies as hate material.

Or even Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter). Strongly dislike? Sure. Hate? Eh, well…

OK, OK. For real this time. One character that I hate…please hold a moment while I peruse my stacks to jog my bleary-eyed  memory…I’ve got it!

Ian Hunter. I actually loathe this character.

Before you read my reason, if you have not read Into the Land of the Unicorns by Bruce Coville and actually want to, then you’ll not want to read further because it’s a HUGE spoiler. We good? Cool.

Cara is on a mission to deliver an amulet to the unicorn queen of Luster. Of course, bad guys want to stop her every step of the way and one in particular had been trying to kill her. Turns out it was a guy named Ian Hunter and he was her father.

At first she didn’t realize he was the one with murderous intentions until he resorted to lying through his teeth, playing the daddy card, and then trying to sacrifice her to a dragon.

I kept looking and waiting and hoping, but nope—no redeeming qualities. Not even a tiny inkling of one. When I finished reading that section, my only thought was what an evil bastard! (And this is a children’s book, mind you.) So you know it’s pretty bad.

(I’d actually do a little jig when he dies and hope it were painful.)

Since that’s not terribly exciting, another option would be to discuss the food that crops up during reading. This just happens to be perfect considering that I’ve deviated from my outlined reading pool and am currently reading The Search for Delicious by Natalie Babbitt…and it happens to be about food. Sort of. (I’ve been saying “sort of” quite a bit lately.)

So far, the book is about a King, his Prime Minister, his queen, and his army general who all disagree on which food should be listed for the definition of delicious in the dictionary. The choices they’ve submitted are fried fish, apples, pudding, and beer.

In order to resolve the issue, it’s decided a poll will be taken of the various townspeople to decide on which of those items should be the accepted definition. Unfortunately, it’s not as forthright as it initially appeared.

Come to think of it, reading about food is making me kind of hungry. It might just be time for another Pop Tart run.

Gah. Now I want some chocolate ice cream. I have no idea where that craving just came from. I think the Sleepiesâ„¢ are starting to kick in. Must drink more tea.

That out of the way, I’ll say that the two authors I chose were based solely on their position within my stacks—in other words, they were the first two that I could find that made me *squee* when I touched their books. So…

Generation Dead by Daniel Waters

Oh goodness, where to begin with this one? You know what, I’m not even going to try and explain, I’m just going to say: Twilight with zombies. And it’s hilarious. ‘Nuff said.

As far as the type of panty I’d throw his way? The pink argyle Vicky’s. I believe it’s only fitting.

Afraid by Jack Kilborn

Although this book is a relentless killfest with some ultra-depraved bad guys, it’s what made him #pantyworthy. This book kept the tension high and my interest piqued and my stomach turning—all good things if you write a book such as this one. Plus, he’s super funny to boot.

And for his panty selection, definitely the black boy-cut Vicky’s with the pink lace trim. No question.

(I planned to draw the panties on the books, but then I looked at the clock and decided it would be best to use actual photos as my visual aides. Maybe after the read-a-thon is finished I’ll do some for the other #pantyworthy authors.)

The Search For Delicious New Skies Shiver The Sea of Monsters.