First, there are many grammatical errors in Twilight, however, in my opinion, the worst is the one that happens on page nine since it’s glaring* and should have been caught within the first or second round of edits.

“The room was familiar; it had been belonged to me since I was born.” –Twilight pg. 9 (technically 7 if we go by the start of the chapter)

Various sources tell me that this has been fixed in later reprints, so I’m hoping that means my edition is a collector’s item and one day I’ll be able to sell it on eBay for a bazillion dollars. Anyone care to make me an offer?

*Did you see what I did there? (I understand that only those who’ve read the book will probably get it.)

I know that I’m only seven years old and lack the necessary wisdom to make such a decision, but I decided to become a vampire. I’d finished reading Twilight* and wanted to be like Edward so I could get all the ladies.

My friend already was one so I kindly asked him to bite me, which he did…on my hand. It didn’t hurt at first, but then while my mother and I were strolling through the grocery store that evening, the full weight of my situation settled on me, in the form of searing pain and uncontrollable hunger, and I knew I had made a mistake.

My mother didn’t believe me when I calmly told her that I was becoming a vampire, but she perked up when I threw myself on the floor and told her I needed to go to the hospital right away so they could reverse the changes. Being a vampire just wasn’t worth it. Luckily we made it in time.

I was given the antidote disguised as a Popsicle and some stickers and now I’m fine. But let this be a lesson to anyone else under the age of sanity: Don’t make the same mistake. Being a vampire sucks.

(Technically, the seven year old in question didn’t read Twilight himself, but had caught the craze in passing.)

Some are claiming that Stephenie Meyer (and her publisher) is merely out for more money, while her defenders are quick to point out that the book is being released for free on her website in tandem with the hardcover release and a dollar of the proceeds is being donated to the American Red Cross.

Well, I’m the voice in the middle. I believe the release of this book is geared by both financial gain and altruism. I see your eyebrows raising and mouths dropping. How is such a thing possible? Those two things are complete opposites, you say. Ah ha! But they are not. They are two sides of the same coin.

First, let’s look at the altruism:

“There was one thing I asked for: since this story had always been an extra for me, and was meant to be released with the Guide, I wanted to be able to offer it to my fans for free. […] starting at noon on June 7th until July 5th, it will also be available online at www.breetanner.com.

One other aspect of this release is the plan to give a more important gift to people who really need it. One dollar of each book purchased in the US from the first printing will be donated to the American Red Cross for their relief efforts in Haiti and Chile and other parts of the world where people are in great need.” – Stephenie Meyer (*Seth really should discover the wonderment of permalinks.)

Now, let’s take a closer look:

“…starting at noon on June 7th until July 5th…”

The book will only be available for 28 days…online. I don’t know many people who will want to read a 200 page book on their computer screen—and on a deadline—or who would want to print a 200 page book from their inkjet printer.

Best case scenario for people who haven’t discovered FinePrint or iPrint, even if they opt for duplex printing, is 100 loose sheets of paper to wrangle. But hey, it’s still free…as in beer. Chances are, most people will opt to buy the hardcover simply so they’ll have something physical they can hold.

Plus, what happens when the deadline’s up and word of mouth has spread about how supremely awesome The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner is? You guessed right, those people will likely purchase a copy. Or what if the book is so supremely awesome that the reader wants his own copy to love and cuddle with at night? Right again, that reader will purchase a copy.

But…but…the profit is going to a charity, so it’s all good right? Sort of.

“One dollar of each book purchased in the US from the first printing will be donated to the American Red Cross…”

Did you catch it? The embedded small print? OK, let’s have a look at it as taken from the Bree Tanner website:

“…donating to the American Red Cross International Response Fund $1 for every hardcover book sold from the first printing in the U.S. Donations will continue until all first printing copies have been sold or at the end of a two-year period from the initial publication date, whichever is the first to occur.”

After the first printing is done, or two years if the first printing isn’t sold off right away, no more donations. We have to look at this from two angles: 1) How many books will be printed in that first round? and 2) How much is the actual profit margin?

I’ve heard the number 1,000,000 thrown around and that’s no number to sneeze at; people in need can definitely use the help. However, what if the first printing is only 250,000 books? Or what if the profit margin per book sold is somewhere around $3? That means for ever $1 they donate, $2 goes into someone’s pocket.

(Please note that I yanked those numbers out of thin air. I do not know what the actual profit margin for this book will be, merely illustrating a point.)

Looked upon objectively, there is financial gain in being altruistic. I’m not upset about it in the least—a girl’s gotta eat. But it’s always important to look at the situation objectively before hopping on a particular (extremist) bandwagon. What this all comes down to is more clever marketing.

Now a few parting words as an aside: If you’re an author, publicist, or publisher, you should be taking notes. The genius behind the Twilight Saga’s marketing is staggering.

Enjoy. You may thank me after you’ve caught your breath.

According to the Vintage release, Nightlight follows a “pale and klutzy” girl named Belle Goose, who moves to Switchblade, Oregon, and meets Edwart Mullen, a “super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls.” The vampire-obsessed Belle becomes convinced Edwart is one of the undead after witnessing events she considers otherworldly (”Edwart leaves his Tater Tots™ untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!”). [EW]

Found via Jezebel: Sparkle-Vamp goes Geek in Twilight Spoof (hint: read the comments.)

It’s safe to say that I’m not the world’s best Twilight saga fan because I didn’t even realize there was a scandal about leaked chapters of an upcoming book until recently. In fact, I didn’t even know there was going to be another book.

What I did know was there was a movie due out in December 2008. While waiting to see The Dark Knight, the trailer for Twilight came on and it looked interesting…

What looked even more interesting was that on the way out, while reading the poster, I noticed that it was based on a novel. That, folks, is how I was introduced to the Twilight saga. I read all four books in the series and I admit that I enjoyed it for exactly what it is: a fluffy angst-laden teenage romance story.

Every so often I come across the stray vexed letter to Meyer for not delivering the goods in Breaking Dawn (or Big Disappointment as some have dubbed it) and I can’t help but laugh. These people are planning mass bonfire parties to burn the books or calling for a tidal wave of book returns and I just want to say, “It’s a book, people! And sometimes books suck. That’s life. Get over it.” (Now, I’m not saying whether Breaking Dawn is here or there in my opinion, just pointing out a fact in general.)

Well, anyway, moving right along. Apparently there was some mass exodus after the Breaking Dawn incident and then all of a sudden they get a lucky break and the movie release date is bumped up to Thanksgiving and then leaked chapters of Midnight Sun–the Twilight book penned from Edward’s perspective–appeared out of thin air.

August 2, 2008 the final book in the series, Breaking Dawn (herein referred to as BD), was released and within days there was a massive uproar from disgruntled fans and readers.

August 15, 2008 it was announced that the release date of the Twilight movie moved up to November 21, 2008 instead of December 12, 2008.

August 28, 2008 (or thereabouts) the unfinished manuscript for Midnight Sun was leaked and, as a result, Meyer has postponed its completion and release indefinitely.

Frankly, the timing is too convenient which leads me to believe the attention is being deliberately funneled. Now, I’m not saying it was right for whomever leaked those unpolished chapters without Meyer’s permission if it did happen that way (it’s deplorable), but the whole scandal surrounding the real life Twilight saga reeks of a clever marketing ploy.

Let’s speculate for a moment (and this is just random conjecture, mind you). Things weren’t looking so hot for the Twilight franchise after BD. Some sources speculated that about 40% of the BD buyers hated it and forum threads, blog entries, and discussions about the downward spiral of the Twilight series were blossoming all over the ‘net.

While I’m sure many of the diehard Twilight fans would still see the movie, that backlash from BD’s release couldn’t have boded well for the movie or any future book sales for the series.

Then, through some miracle, the release of Harry Potter was shifted to a later date leaving the Thanksgiving slot wide open and Twilight just happened to snap it up. Hooray! It took a lot of people by surprise and it was enough to get everyone talking about Twilight again as opposed to the debacle that was BD. (Oh, how fickle people can be.)

Finally, the Midnight Sun manuscript was leaked, which provided Meyer and her publishers with a legitimate excuse to postpone (read: kill) the novel. Some sources had been predicting that the sales, due to the BD incident, would have been dismal and the bottom line simply wasn’t there. (And despite some folks’ idealistic views of writing and publishing, it really does come down to the bottom line.) So, rather than just killing the novel and letting it fade into the ether quietly, why not make a scandal out of it?

The scandal meant good things for two reasons: 1) the conversation keeps Twilight at the front of peoples’ minds; and 2) people will become sympathetic to Meyer and want to show their support however they can. With the Twilight movie right around the corner…. Let’s just say the bottom line for the movie just started looking a little better.

And the beauty of this plan is that the door is still wide open for a future book (or movie) release. Yep, you read that right. If Twilight the movie does well and Twilight fans are once again appeased, they’ll be salivating for another book (or movie) to prolong their euphoria.

This is just speculation, of course. I’m not entirely certain any marketing firm would be clever enough to come up with such a plan, though I’m not entirely certain one couldn’t.

The Twilight Saga at Amazon.com:

• Twilight (Book 1)
• New Moon (Book 2)
• Eclipse (Book 3)
• Breaking Dawn (Book 4)
• Midnight Sun (Chapters 1-12)