I know that I’m only seven years old and lack the necessary wisdom to make such a decision, but I decided to become a vampire. I’d finished reading Twilight* and wanted to be like Edward so I could get all the ladies.

My friend already was one so I kindly asked him to bite me, which he did…on my hand. It didn’t hurt at first, but then while my mother and I were strolling through the grocery store that evening, the full weight of my situation settled on me, in the form of searing pain and uncontrollable hunger, and I knew I had made a mistake.

My mother didn’t believe me when I calmly told her that I was becoming a vampire, but she perked up when I threw myself on the floor and told her I needed to go to the hospital right away so they could reverse the changes. Being a vampire just wasn’t worth it. Luckily we made it in time.

I was given the antidote disguised as a Popsicle and some stickers and now I’m fine. But let this be a lesson to anyone else under the age of sanity: Don’t make the same mistake. Being a vampire sucks.

(Technically, the seven year old in question didn’t read Twilight himself, but had caught the craze in passing.)

Here are the rules:

• Grab your current read
• Let the book fall open to a random page
• Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• You also need to share the title of the book where you get your teaser from…that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given
• Please avoid spoilers

This week’s teaser:

"My dear Taro, I am hidden in the Hokugawa monastery, near the Fuji mountain. Ask for the lady hermit when you come." pg. 222 Blood Ninja by Nick Lake

This book was initially recommended to my by Amazon and I read the synopsis and added it to my wish list. (Needless to say, the concept of a vampiric ninja just appeals to me on so many levels.) Then the magical book fairies at Simon & Schuster sent me a copy and I was all smiles (hooray for book fairies!!). I’m only a couple pages into this one, but I can’t wait to dive deeper. So far, I know there will be a comedic edge to it, which is a major plus.

“As I climb in my stolen vehicle, I notice that my arms and hands are glowing with a faint white light. The effect stuns me. My face is also glowing! In fact, all my exposed skin shines with the same iridescence as the full moon, which hangs low in the sky in the direction of Las Vegas.” Thirst No. 1 – pg. 450

While it’s not sparkling in the daylight a la Twilight, it’s still an iridescent vampire. A sparkly glowing rainbow vampire. I mean really? REALLY?!?

Not to give out any major spoilers, but it gets even more bizarre than that (hint: levitation). I can almost hear that gossamer thread suspending my disbelief crying out in pain.

The first book, The Last Vampire, was a breeze to read and I rather enjoyed it. The second book, Black Blood, took a bit of a nosedive compared to the first book (the voice changed completely), but pulled itself together and my hope was salvaged. The third book, Red Dice, is the one that happens to be tugging on my nerves in the worst way, but I’m hoping it will go the way of the second book and salvage itself. I don’t have much hope after the whole iridescent levitating vampire thing, though.

One problem, however, that I see throughout the books is the random romances. I can almost understand love at first sight and I understand why they’re necessary (they actually drive Sita’s personal story of self discovery forward), but they don’t properly fit and they are a major weakness to the entire story.

I started out loving this book, now I only like it. *sigh*

Sunday Sketch

There were three characters that I thought about drawing—Sita, Yaksha, or Krishna—but settled on Sita because it is her story after all.

This was a super quick sketch and I added hints of color to the eyes and lips because those were the two areas she usually focused on in the book—her powerful eyes and how she could seduce people by altering her voice.

Recent Arrivals chronicles the books that have made their way onto the Today, I Read… bookshelf. Here’s the latest arrival: Thirst No. 1 by Christopher Pike

First line: I am a vampire, and that is the truth.

Initial thoughts: I was walking through a department store and this book was sitting haphazardly on some magazines. Not being able to resist a book with an interesting cover that just seems to appear out of nowhere, I read the first few pages while standing there and decided to get it.

When I read the first line, though, I was about to put it back down; after the recent young adult vampire craze, I wasn’t sure whether I was ready to read yet another book featuring all too sexy vampires that possibly sparkle. But something pressed me forward and I realized this wasn’t the same ol’, same ol’ and as far as I could tell, there would be no sparkly vampires to contend with, so I dropped it in my basket.

I came to learn later that this is actually a two part compilation which combines the previously published six book series from the early 90’s. Knowing this makes me wonder where I was when these books were coming out…oh, that’s right, reading Anne Rice.

No. 1 includes The Last Vampire, Black Blood, and Red Dice. No. 2, which is scheduled for release Jan. 2010, includes Phantom, Evil Thirst, and Creatures of Forever.

Book description:

As to blood—

ah, blood, the whole subject fascinates me. I do like that as well, warm and dripping, when I am thirsty. And I am often thirsty….

Alisa has been in control of her urges for the five thousand years she has been a vampire. She feeds but does not kill, and she lives her life on the fringe to maintain her secret. But when her creator returns to hunt her, she must break her own rules in order to survive.

Her quest leads her to Ray. He is the only person who can help her; he also has every reason to fear her. Alisa must get closer to him to ensure her immortality. But as she begins to fall in love with Ray, suddenly there is more at stake than her own life….

Book Details: 624 pages; Simon Pulse; Pub. August 4, 2009 ]]> http://www.todayiread.com/recent-arrival-thirst-1-christopher-pike/feed/ 28 http://www.todayiread.com/review-uninvited-amanda-marrone/ http://www.todayiread.com/review-uninvited-amanda-marrone/#comments Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:50:02 +0000 Ann-Katrina http://www.todayiread.com/review-uninvited-amanda-marrone/

Back Cover of Uninvited

When rejection comes back to bite you…

Jordan’s life sucks. Her boyfriend, Michael, dumped her, slept his way through half the student body, and then killed himself. But now, somehow, he appears at her window every night, begging her to let him in.

Jordan can’t understand why he wants her, but she feels her resistance wearing down. After all, her life — once a broken record of boring parties, meaningless hookups, and friends she couldn’t relate to — now consists of her drinking alone in her room as she waits for the sun to go down.

Michael needs to be invited in before he can enter. All Jordan has to do is say the words….

Three Quick Points About Uninvited

• Point 1: This book reads like the anti-Twilight. The characters are shallow and the plot is paper thin. The difference is, rather than a clean cut honor student being completely enamoured by the new vampire who’s been stalking her, it’s the story of a constantly drunk honor student wishing she weren’t being stalked by the new vampire.
• Point 2: Redefines the term “lush life.” Everyone is drunk and high (except maybe the parents, but I can’t be certain) throughout most of the book. It became redundant.
• Point 3: Jordan needs a lot of therapy or to develop an actual personality. I really wanted to like Jordan’s character, but didn’t. Throughout the book, we’re trapped inside her head while she complains about every facet of her life (and it feels as though the air is slipping away fast). In the end, she turns over a new leaf, sort of, but never quite redeems herself.

Full Review of Uninvited

Before reading the full review, please note that there may be some spoilers. I tried to keep it vague enough not to spoil the entire story, but be warned. If you’d rather not take any chances, skip the synopsis and go straight to the final thoughts.

Uninvited Synopsis

Uninvited begins with Jordan talking to a vampire who’s perched in a tree outside her bedroom window. The story then walks us through how that situation came to be.

Three months prior, a year after she and Michael dated for two months, Michael Green up and dies of an apparent suicide, then he makes a reappearance at her house the night of his funeral. At first, Jordan thought a mistake had been made and he was still alive, but she put the pieces together when he explained what really happened to him.

So, her routine changed as a result. For three months, she holed herself in her room before nightfall and waited for Michael to come calling. Every night he’d ask to be let in and every night she’d deny him, because, apparently, becoming a vampire makes you more patient than you were in life.

Jordan’s life (social and otherwise) suffers due to this change and she regularly finds her solace at the bottom of an empty bottle (alcohol or otherwise). Finally, her friends—who she’s not quite sure are really her friends, but then why would they show concern for her well-being if they weren’t?—ambush her and take her to a party to get her out of her funk.

At the party, Jordan has an epiphany about her life and what she’s doing to herself. She also learns that Michael followed her there and what she once thought about his motives, she now has to rethink.

When she gets back home, she finds her friend Lisa there who is behaving strangely and apologizing profusely for telling Michael about the party. Thus begins Jordan’s mission to finally face her problem head on.

Final Thoughts On Uninvited

I wanted very much to like this book; it has such a cool cover and plenty of positive reviews at Amazon. However:

• Half-way through the book, I began mixing up the characters because they all seem to be the same person—one dimensional and struggling for a voice.
• By chapter six, I wanted to put the book down and not really pick it back up again because I was afraid the whining about life would continue endlessly.
• And when I closed the book, I said “meh, that’s it?” and then it just became another foggy memory.

Let’s tackle these bullet points in order, shall we? The characters are all one-dimensional and sometimes stereotypical. Jordan, who narrates the story, has a social anxiety disorder and a self-centered absentee mother. Her way to deal is by partying, and by partying, I mean drinking to get “faced”, partaking in various illicit substances, and having random “flybys” with guys she doesn’t know.

Of course, that’s not my main problem with her. My problem is that her ennui drones on for about a hundred pages and when other characters did pop in, they were just another version of Jordan.

There’s an effort to make them different, but it never quite worked. Some exaggerated to the point where it wasn’t believable; especially Michael, the vampire who’s stalking Jordan, and Lisa, the convenient catalyst, who makes an appearance late in the game.

For the first half of the book, we’re basically getting the back story explaining who Michael was in life and Jordan’s quest to find out why he’s chosen to torment her of all people. Unfortunately, the revelation of said back story is banal and redundant.

I stopped caring that Michael smelled like coconut suntan lotion, that he was an asshole who chased anything with legs, and that Jordan felt she wasn’t stalk-able because she was some lowly prole he dated for two months.

The final let down came at the big climax where we all learn the reason Michael is stalking Jordan. This is going to be a huge spoiler, but necessary to see the plot’s paper thinness. If you wish to read it, highlight the following paragraph:

The back cover lied. Michael did not dump Jordan, she was the one who dumped him. The first line (i.e. when rejection comes back to bite you…) is a play on the storyline in which Michael begins stalking Jordan because he can’t believe she, the pathetic lush, dumped him. I guess when you have an eternity on your hands, it’s best to torment the one that got away.

Then to throw a chunk of salt into the gaping wound, we have Lisa who enters the story as the catalyst (I won’t reveal more than that, but that’s another spoiler). The relationship between Jordan and Lisa didn’t translate well (i.e. the closeness which would cause Jordan to uproot her previous behaviour) and seemed very rushed which made the situation unbelievable.

In that vein, Lisa’s character could easily have been replaced by Nutty, Jordan’s cat. The conversation could go something like:

Michael: “If you ever want to see Nutty alive again, you’ll beg me to come in…”

Jordan: “Oh gawd, no, not Nutty…Michael, come in. Please. I’m begging you to come in. Just leave Nutty alooooonnnneeee.”

Michael: “I knew you’d cave.” Starts climbing in window, then stops. “Oh wait…I think I’ll still kill Nutty just because I’m an asshole. Muahahahaha”

Jordan: Uh oh, no. I love Nutty so much I can’t let him do it. I better grow a pair and do something. Where’d I put that stake again?

My apologies for the snark, but, I hope it helps to get the point across.

While I don’t regret reading the book, I wouldn’t go out of my way to recommend it either.

Rating: Save your money (?)

If you’re truly interested in reading this one, check it out at the library or borrow it from a friend.

Back Cover of Magic Bites

Atlanta would be a nice place to live, if it weren’t for the magic…

When the magic is up, rogue mages cast their spells and monsters appear, while guns refuse to fire and cars fail to start. But then technology returns, and the magic recedes as unpredictably as it arose, leaving all kinds of paranormal problems in its wake.

Kate Daniels is a down-on-her-luck mercenary who makes her living cleaning up these magical problems. But when Kate’s guardian is murdered, her quest for justice draws her into a power struggle between two strong factions within Atlanta’s magic circles.

The Masters of the Dead, necromancers who can control vampires, and the Pack, a paramilitary clan of shapechangers, blame each other for a series of bizarre killings—and the death of Kate’s guardian may be part of the same mystery. Pressured by both sides to find the killer, Kate realizes she’s way out of her league—but she wouldn’t have it any other way…

Three Quick Points About Magic Bites

• Point 1: The prose and pacing are exquisitely done. The book is smartly written without being pretentious and urges you forward without shoving you down a flight of stairs. It’s evident that the word selection and syntax were assembled with care.
• Point 2: This novel is a perfect exercise in world-building. Set in a future version of Atlanta ravaged by magic, the descriptions are vividly dark and disturbingly crafted. It becomes real.
• Point 3: What, no sparkly, beautiful, or dangerously seductive vampires? Nope. In this book, vampires veer from the contemporary norm. They are hideous quadrupedal humanoids continually degrading into something much worse—”an abomination in progress.”

Full Review of Magic Bites

Before reading the full review, please note that there may be some spoilers. I tried to keep it vague enough not to spoil the entire story, but be warned. If you’d rather not take any chances, skip the synopsis and go straight to the final thoughts.

Magic Bites Synopsis

In Magic Bites, Kate Daniels receives a cryptic message prompting her to check on her guardian. (When I first saw the term ‘guardian’, I thought it was some sort of super/preternatural type of guardian–it’s her legal guardian.) When she checks up on him, she learns that he’s been murdered.

After kicking up a bit of dust, she’s allowed to investigate his murder. She even receives some help to grease the wheels. During her investigation, she learns that her guardian was getting close to discovering a conspiracy that he shouldn’t have been.

After a bit more digging, Kate learns that there have been multiple deaths within two opposing groups in this world ruled by magic. In order to stop a complete uprising and war between these two groups, the Pack (shapechangers) and the People (necromancers), Kate needs to figure out what’s really behind the murders.

What results is that Kate brings us on a super/preternatural mystery complete with red herrings and all. Although it’s not a traditional mystery in the Agatha Christie sense, we do get to sit back and watch Kate piece together the clues to find out who’s behind the mysterious killings.

Eventually, with much ado, Kate and company finally manage to figure out who it is and Kate kicks herself when she looks at how obvious the answer should have been from the beginning. But, frankly, it’s easy to overlook. (Trying desperately to avoid spoilers.) Essentially, this book is like following Kate as she comes across a variety of cast members while venturing into the new-to-her field of sleuthing.

Final Thoughts On Magic Bites

My first thought after shutting Magic Bites was this is how a supernatural/preternatural fantasy book should be written. The strongest point of the book is the world created; the tearing down of the Atlanta we all know and the rebuilding of a dark, dilapidated, and disturbing place complete with menacing creatures and a new code of conduct.

The book is told from the point of view of Kate Daniels, a mercenary. She’s a spunky, in your face, get things done the hard way kind of girl. Being inside her head for the entire 260 page book wasn’t bad. She was rather entertaining. The only tough humps were the moments when she was down on herself physically. When she was ragging on herself, she really ragged and that did become a little annoying.

While the characters were also well crafted–Kate Daniels and Curran (the scary, and yet somehow sexy, Lord of the Free Beasts) in particular–a few did seem off somehow. Most notably was Bono. I can’t put my finger on it, but something about how the character was crafted rang false. Another qualm I had with the book was the various new agencies (and their abbreviations) thrown at the reader. It’s a little overwhelming to keep track of who they are, what their purpose is, and what they’re actually doing, but as the story moves forward, it does become easier to manage.

Those small points aside, Magic Bites was easily read in a single sitting. The descriptions of the people and settings were vivid enough to place the reader in the story while leaving enough room for the reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks. The prose was clever, well thought out without being pretentious or forced; it was very natural to read from one sentence to the next and one page to the next. It had a little bit of everything: superficial romance, depraved bad guys, and bloody battles. Overall, it was a highly enjoyable read.

Rating: Worth every penny (?)

Get Magic Bites from Amazon.com

From the Back Cover of Nightlife

There are monsters among us. There always have been and there always will be. I’ve known that since I can remember, just like I’ve always known I was one…

…Well, half of one, anyway.

Welcome to the Big Apple. There’s a troll under the Brooklyn Bridge, a boggle in Central Park, and a beautiful vampire in a penthouse on the Upper East Side—and that’s only the beginning. Of course, most humans are oblivious to the preternatural nightlife around them, but Cal Leandros is only half human.

His father’s dark lineage is the stuff of nightmares–and he and his entire otherworldly race are after Cal. Why? Cal hasn’t exactly wanted to stick around long enough to find out.

He and his half brother, Niko, have managed to stay a step ahead for four years, but now Cal’s dad has found them again. And Cal is about to learn why they want him, why they’ve always wanted him: He is the key to unleashing their hell on earth. The fate of the human world will be decided in the fight of Cal’s life….

Three Quick Points About Nightlife

• Point 1: If you were to remove all the adjectives and adverbs from the book, it would probably shrink by about 60 pages. Being a lover of adjectives and adverbs, it pains me to say this, but there’s a limit to their use. They should be treated like a fine and potent spice–use only as much as necessary or the entire dish could be spoiled.
• Point 2: This Cal character is a sardonically wonderful guy. The novel got heavy at times and it felt like trudging through mud, but the twisted humor injected through Cal’s voice certainly helped to balance it out.
• Point 3: What happened to the climax? The build up is good, the tension is there, and you’re poised, ready to see what dark and ominous creatures spring forth to tear the main characters into shreds, and then…wha…that’s it?

The Full Review of Nightlife

Before reading the full review, please note that there may be some spoilers. I tried to keep it vague enough not to spoil the entire story, but be warned. If you’d rather not take any chances, skip the synopsis and go straight to the final thoughts.

Nightlife Synopsis

Two brothers, Cal (short for Caliban) and Niko Leandros, are on the run from things they call Grendels, which they later find out are actually called the Auphe. The Auphe are completely depraved creatures who enjoy the slaughter of others for simple entertainment value. At one point in history they were on top of the world–the most fearsome creatures, but when the humans came along the Auphe’s numbers dwindled and there was a massive power shift. They hatched a plan to correct the imbalance and it involved creating a human-Auphe hybrid. That hybrid was Cal.

When Cal was fourteen, he was kidnapped and dragged through a portal by the Auphe. In the process, his unloving mother was killed and it seemed his older half-brother was too. But Niko survived and waited for two days at the spot where he’d seen them take Cal. When Cal finally came back at the end of those two days, he was two years older–apparently time flowed differently in the Auphe’s realm–and he didn’t remember anything.

Cal and Niko found themselves in New York where Cal worked nights in a jerkwater bar and Niko spent some of his time helping out in a dojo and guarding bodies. The life they’d carved out for themselves took a drastic change when Niko discovers and kills a lone Auphe. After being fed some faulty information by a young, genuine psychic (who Cal has feelings for, but it’s never realized or developed in the storyline), the two are a bit more confused about whether to leave or stay in New York. Cal wanted to stay, but Niko says it’s time to leave and Niko usually wins.

Unfortunately, the car breaks down which means they won’t be going anywhere until they can get a new one. In the course of trying to find some reliable transportation, they meet Robin Fellows, used car salesman extraordinaire, also known as Robin Goodfellow aka Puck, a mischievous, egotistical and lecherous elf.

The newly formed trio find themselves on an adventure to discover the reason for the Auphe’s indefatigable pursuit of Cal. Of course, it’s because they need him to take over the world. During their adventure, the three battle a troll, some Auphe, and Cal is possessed by a Darkling on the Auphe’s payroll. All of this eventually leads up to the climax that never was.

Final Thoughts on Nightlife

Frankly, I’m still debating whether or not I liked it. Well, I did enjoy it, up until the climax that never came. As a result, I’m leery of reading the second book in the series, Moonshine, which I already have sitting on my bookshelf. There was nothing in Nightlife which shoved me into the next one. Let me try to explain as best I can without giving up any spoilers…

In Nightlife, Cal’s character was amazingly well developed. His character grows on you. Once you open yourself to his personality and his view of the world, you begin to sympathize with him. Of course, his telling you that he’s a monster every few pages does wear a bit thin, but you learn to gloss over it.

On the flip side of the coin is his older half-brother Niko. Now, it’s not difficult to like Niko except that Niko isn’t nearly as well-developed a character. Throughout, it felt as though Niko was only a slightly modified version of Cal’s alter ego. As readers, we’re told that Niko is a super intelligent jedi ninja master, but his actual character falls short of all that. The only thing that’s shown to us is that he’s a health food nut who speaks like he stepped out of the 17th century. He seems no more skilled, talented, or intelligent than Cal and overall, he seems very Cal-esque.

The novel does a good job, however, introducing (albeit fleetingly) other characters which would do especially well in future installments of the series. Off the top of my head, I’d like to see more development with Georgina, the young psychic who Cal has a romantic interest in, Promise Nottinger, a beautiful vampire who Niko has a romantic interest in, and even Robin Goodfellow.

Moving away from the characters, the prose of the novel fluctuates between being crisply written and trying too hard. Since it’s written from Cal’s point of view, sometimes it seems as though he has a touch of multiple personality disorder. Now, it’s not entirely a bad thing. It makes Cal seem much more human. It only becomes a problem when he goes overboard on the descriptions or self-deprecation. It’s one thing to paint a scene for the reader, but it’s quite another to leave no room for the reader’s own imagination to take over. At these junctures in the novel, it felt very much like I was trudging through a mud-trap. Luckily, it didn’t happen so often that it destroyed the whole novel–close, but not quite.

What shot the novel straight to hell was the anticlimactic climax. Just before the climax, the voice shifts from that of Cal to the Darkling who possessed him and that’s where it all went plummeting downhill. The sudden change of voice throws the reader off-kilter, plus that voice slowed down the pacing considerably. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if the Darkling’s narration was more believable. Sure he wanted to do really bad things, as demon creatures are wont to do, but it never quite pushed the envelope. It became stunningly predictable.

The whole novel prepares the reader for a battle to end all battles; it prepares the reader for the end of the world as she knows it and then it falls completely flat. That final battle (I feel silly even calling it a battle) read like something out of a D- horror/action movie. The climax seemed like a rushed afterthought–incomplete–and that’s a shame. I felt cheated.

Despite this minor dent in my trust, I’m still reminded that the prose was clean, Cal’s character was witty, the storyline was interesting and I actually enjoyed reading the novel (for the most part). Since this was a debut novel, I’m certainly willing to give this author another shot because it can only get better, right?

Rating: Buy it used (?)

While I wouldn’t recommend purchasing the book at the hardcover list price, it won’t hurt to grab a half-off mass market paperback (i.e. $3). If you can get the paperback with a steeper discount (even used), go for it. I personally nabbed it from Amazon as part of the 4 for 3 deal.