Back Cover of Uninvited

When rejection comes back to bite you…

Jordan’s life sucks. Her boyfriend, Michael, dumped her, slept his way through half the student body, and then killed himself. But now, somehow, he appears at her window every night, begging her to let him in.

Jordan can’t understand why he wants her, but she feels her resistance wearing down. After all, her life — once a broken record of boring parties, meaningless hookups, and friends she couldn’t relate to — now consists of her drinking alone in her room as she waits for the sun to go down.

Michael needs to be invited in before he can enter. All Jordan has to do is say the words….

Three Quick Points About Uninvited

• Point 1: This book reads like the anti-Twilight. The characters are shallow and the plot is paper thin. The difference is, rather than a clean cut honor student being completely enamoured by the new vampire who’s been stalking her, it’s the story of a constantly drunk honor student wishing she weren’t being stalked by the new vampire.
• Point 2: Redefines the term “lush life.” Everyone is drunk and high (except maybe the parents, but I can’t be certain) throughout most of the book. It became redundant.
• Point 3: Jordan needs a lot of therapy or to develop an actual personality. I really wanted to like Jordan’s character, but didn’t. Throughout the book, we’re trapped inside her head while she complains about every facet of her life (and it feels as though the air is slipping away fast). In the end, she turns over a new leaf, sort of, but never quite redeems herself.

Full Review of Uninvited

Before reading the full review, please note that there may be some spoilers. I tried to keep it vague enough not to spoil the entire story, but be warned. If you’d rather not take any chances, skip the synopsis and go straight to the final thoughts.

Uninvited Synopsis

Uninvited begins with Jordan talking to a vampire who’s perched in a tree outside her bedroom window. The story then walks us through how that situation came to be.

Three months prior, a year after she and Michael dated for two months, Michael Green up and dies of an apparent suicide, then he makes a reappearance at her house the night of his funeral. At first, Jordan thought a mistake had been made and he was still alive, but she put the pieces together when he explained what really happened to him.

So, her routine changed as a result. For three months, she holed herself in her room before nightfall and waited for Michael to come calling. Every night he’d ask to be let in and every night she’d deny him, because, apparently, becoming a vampire makes you more patient than you were in life.

Jordan’s life (social and otherwise) suffers due to this change and she regularly finds her solace at the bottom of an empty bottle (alcohol or otherwise). Finally, her friends—who she’s not quite sure are really her friends, but then why would they show concern for her well-being if they weren’t?—ambush her and take her to a party to get her out of her funk.

At the party, Jordan has an epiphany about her life and what she’s doing to herself. She also learns that Michael followed her there and what she once thought about his motives, she now has to rethink.

When she gets back home, she finds her friend Lisa there who is behaving strangely and apologizing profusely for telling Michael about the party. Thus begins Jordan’s mission to finally face her problem head on.

Final Thoughts On Uninvited

I wanted very much to like this book; it has such a cool cover and plenty of positive reviews at Amazon. However:

• Half-way through the book, I began mixing up the characters because they all seem to be the same person—one dimensional and struggling for a voice.
• By chapter six, I wanted to put the book down and not really pick it back up again because I was afraid the whining about life would continue endlessly.
• And when I closed the book, I said “meh, that’s it?” and then it just became another foggy memory.

Let’s tackle these bullet points in order, shall we? The characters are all one-dimensional and sometimes stereotypical. Jordan, who narrates the story, has a social anxiety disorder and a self-centered absentee mother. Her way to deal is by partying, and by partying, I mean drinking to get “faced”, partaking in various illicit substances, and having random “flybys” with guys she doesn’t know.

Of course, that’s not my main problem with her. My problem is that her ennui drones on for about a hundred pages and when other characters did pop in, they were just another version of Jordan.

There’s an effort to make them different, but it never quite worked. Some exaggerated to the point where it wasn’t believable; especially Michael, the vampire who’s stalking Jordan, and Lisa, the convenient catalyst, who makes an appearance late in the game.

For the first half of the book, we’re basically getting the back story explaining who Michael was in life and Jordan’s quest to find out why he’s chosen to torment her of all people. Unfortunately, the revelation of said back story is banal and redundant.

I stopped caring that Michael smelled like coconut suntan lotion, that he was an asshole who chased anything with legs, and that Jordan felt she wasn’t stalk-able because she was some lowly prole he dated for two months.

The final let down came at the big climax where we all learn the reason Michael is stalking Jordan. This is going to be a huge spoiler, but necessary to see the plot’s paper thinness. If you wish to read it, highlight the following paragraph:

The back cover lied. Michael did not dump Jordan, she was the one who dumped him. The first line (i.e. when rejection comes back to bite you…) is a play on the storyline in which Michael begins stalking Jordan because he can’t believe she, the pathetic lush, dumped him. I guess when you have an eternity on your hands, it’s best to torment the one that got away.

Then to throw a chunk of salt into the gaping wound, we have Lisa who enters the story as the catalyst (I won’t reveal more than that, but that’s another spoiler). The relationship between Jordan and Lisa didn’t translate well (i.e. the closeness which would cause Jordan to uproot her previous behaviour) and seemed very rushed which made the situation unbelievable.

In that vein, Lisa’s character could easily have been replaced by Nutty, Jordan’s cat. The conversation could go something like:

Michael: “If you ever want to see Nutty alive again, you’ll beg me to come in…”

Jordan: “Oh gawd, no, not Nutty…Michael, come in. Please. I’m begging you to come in. Just leave Nutty alooooonnnneeee.”

Michael: “I knew you’d cave.” Starts climbing in window, then stops. “Oh wait…I think I’ll still kill Nutty just because I’m an asshole. Muahahahaha”

Jordan: Uh oh, no. I love Nutty so much I can’t let him do it. I better grow a pair and do something. Where’d I put that stake again?

My apologies for the snark, but, I hope it helps to get the point across.

While I don’t regret reading the book, I wouldn’t go out of my way to recommend it either.

Rating: Save your money (?)

If you’re truly interested in reading this one, check it out at the library or borrow it from a friend.